"Your Mind Is Not Your Friend!"
Dear Success Seeker,
I had a very frustrating coaching session with a client this week. He has a fantastic business opportunity and is exceptionally good at what he does, yet he has achieved only a moderate level of success. He just can't seem to create the momentum both he and I know is possible in his business. During our coaching call I quickly discovered why...
Every time I suggested an idea, a solution or a possible opening I could feel him blocking me. It felt as if he was slamming on the brakes. Then he'd come up with a reason why it couldn't be done. "I can't because..." or "Yes, but...." or "I've already tried that."
For me as a coach it was like navigating through an obstacle course with a blindfold on. I kept banging into one barrier after another. No wonder he is feeling stuck in his business and his life. He is trapped in a maze and will never create a thriving business until he creates some space for himself to move.
And what is blocking him? That's right; our old friend, the mind. My former partner, Harv Eker, used to say, "Your mind is not your friend" and truer words were never spoken. The primary (and primal) purpose of your mind is to keep you safe at all costs. And the cost is high. As a protective mechanism your mind has no interest in your happiness or financial success.
Of course your mind performs many essential functions. However you must learn to manage and override its automatic defense responses or else it will shut down any and all ideas that it feels are dangerous, uncertain or threatening. This includes virtually everything that will lead you to fun, love, wealth and the other attributes you need to have a thriving business and fulfilling life.
One way your mind holds you back is by wanting to know what is going to happen before you take action. Since this is not possible, it slams on the brakes on any ideas you have that lead you into the unknown. No action leads to no results.
So how do you achieve your goals and create the life you want when the natural state of your mind is to be in a full lockdown? You must learn how to manage your mind rather than letting it manage you. Self-management begins with awareness; until you are aware of your self-limiting thoughts and beliefs you can't change anything because you don't know what to change.
Once you have awareness you have choice. You will never stop your sub-conscious mind from resisting the unfamiliar and avoiding risks. But you are not your mind. With awareness you can develop the ability to take intentional actions that will advance you towards your goals instead of allowing your fears to control your life.
Here are some ways you can begin to free yourself from your mind so you can create what you want in life instead of playing small:
- Associate with other people who understand and are committed to self-awareness and personal development. Their attitude will wear off on you.
- Ask people you trust and respect to tell you honestly where they see you holding back, failing to achieve your potential and playing small. Ask them specifically, "What action do you think it would serve me to take?"
- Attend personal development events like Landmark Education and Peak Potentials which are process-oriented workshops rather than intellectual trainings.
- Develop the practice of observing your mind and noticing what you fear and resist.
- Journal about your goals and fears. Write about what you need to do differently to achieve your goals.
I gave my coaching client some written exercises to help him become aware of how his mind's resistance to the unknown was holding him back. He has already found that simply being aware of his self-limiting thinking often enables him to make different decisions that move him forward.
The bottom line is that when it comes to achieving your goals you have either your results or your reasons. Truly, your reasons are the number one obstacle to you achieving the greatness that is readily available to you. Finally, be careful who you hang out with. Most people will accept and even agree with your reasons and limiting beliefs because it allows them to justify the small lives they are living.
Andrew Barber-Starkey, Master Certified Coach
Founder and President, ProCoach Success System
Would you like to receive private Business Coaching from Andrew?
Email Pam@ProCoachSystem.com or call 604-983-8041 for details
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Andrew Barber-Starkey is a Master Certified Coach residing in Vancouver, Canada. His coaching program, the ProCoach Success System, is designed for entrepreneurs, small-business owners, self-employed and commissioned sales people who want to double their income while simultaneously doubling their time off within 3 years.
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