Dear Success Seeker,

We've been brainwashed! The media has told us so many times that we can and should 'have it all' that we now believe this myth. And the get-rich-quick gurus of the late 90s and early 2000s promised not only that it was possible, but that they would take us there....if we would just pay the tuition to attend their seminars. But both parties were simply serving their own motives. The truth is that it is not possible to have it all - at least not in the way that we have been trained to think.

In our society we worship people who achieve exceptional things. The ultra-rich business owners like Mark Zuckerberg and Richard Branson; the Olympic athletes and professional sports superstars; the cult icons including pop stars, TV celebrities and movie actors; the glamorous supermodels and jetsetters. We idolize these people because we think that they have it all. But they don't and they can't because in order to succeed greatly in one area, sacrifices must be made in other areas. In fact trying to maintain the image of having it all has actually ruined the lives of many of these icons.

Olympic athletes train on average six hours per day six days per week. In addition they must make time for proper nutrition and adequate recovery like sleep, massage etc. The majority also have to study or earn a living.... Can you see that something has to give? When they stand on the podium it may appear they 'have it all' but actually they have almost no free time for family, social life, entertainment or recreational pursuits. All of these were sacrificed along the way. Was it worth it? Only they know for sure.

The same is true with business and financial success. Ryan Seacrest is a model success story; and he's reputed to work up to 20 hours per day, which may explain why he's single. A high percentage of 'successful' entrepreneurs are not successful at all with their marriages, health or happiness because they are so obsessed with external success. It doesn't matter what your goal is, if you invest enough time and effort to become highly successful in one area then other areas are bound to suffer.

After coaching thousands of people over the past 23 years I've come to believe that it is possible to have or achieve almost anything if you are fully committed. There are some limits but very few if you are willing to pay the price of success. However in the process of getting what you want, other areas of your life will suffer. What it boils down to is that, 'You can have anything, but you can't have everything!'

If this is true, then you must decide what you really want and what price you are willing to pay. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all balanced life. What constitutes a balanced life for one person may seem absurd to another. The determining factor is your values. Because you are only out of balance when the way you are spending your time and resources is in conflict with what is most important to you.

So is it possible to have it all? Definitely not if you measure success it in terms of external factors like being an abundantly wealthy hard-body with a thriving business, an amazing family life and nothing but time for cool hobbies. But if you define 'having it all' as choosing to say no to what is less important in order to have what is truly most important to you, then yes; you absolutely can have it all. And that is a goal worth striving for!

To your success!

Andrew Barber-Starkey, Master Certified Coach
Founder and President, ProCoach Success System