Dear Success Seeker,

The process of achieving any goal, dream or vision you have is really very simple. It is a two-step process and the same two steps apply regardless of how big or small your goal is. Here they are: (1) Get clear on what you want; (2) Take the actions necessary to achieve your goal. That's it.

While you may not be clear on everything you want to achieve, there are certainly some things you want that you don't have yet. Assuming your goals are actually achievable, which most are, the problem must be in step two. You are not doing what needs to be done.

Why not? You probably have a long list of reasons and explanations to justify your lack of results. But it boils down to one thing; something else is more important to you than your goal. You want to achieve your goal. But there are other things you want more that are preventing you from taking the actions required to achieve your goal.

Maybe you want to avoid looking stupid or are afraid to fail. Perhaps it is an integrity issue - taking the required action would violate your values. Maybe you are afraid that the price you'd pay would be too high - that doing what it takes might cost you your home, your marriage, your freedom or something else important to you. Maybe achieving your goal is simply more work than you are willing to do and you are more committed to your own comfort than to your goal. Most likely it's a combination of multiple factors. But the bottom line is that the reason you don't have what you want is that you are more committed to something else than you are to your goal.

I'm not being critical of your choices or suggesting that your priorities are wrong. I'm merely pointing out that no one is stopping you from achieving your goal but you.

You may be feeling a bit defensive when I say this and the voice in your head may be asserting that of course you are committed. It's possible you are; I can't tell from here. But here's how you can tell. Take an objective look at how much action you are taking. Because action is the only true measure of commitment. Wanting something, talking about it and even planning for it are completely unrelated to commitment. As the saying goes, 'actions speak louder than words.'

You can claim that you are committed to losing 20lbs but are you really? Are you taking actions consistent with achieving that goal? Or are you just going through the motions? If somebody put a gun to your head I'd bet you could lose 20lbs and more very quickly! But eating more salads and walking 30 minutes a day won't do it. It will require a more concerted effort than that. In fact, if the actions you're taking are not moving towards your goal, you can safely assume you are not fully committed because you are not taking the right actions.

Here's an example. A few months ago a coaching client of mine told me that she was committed to increasing the sales in her business. She even had a list of prospective clients to call. But when I checked with her recently she revealed that she has only talked to a few people on the list. Clearly something else is more important to her than making the calls and it is limiting her income. It could be a fear of rejection, desire to avoid failure causing her to not try at all, or even a fear of success. (Yes, this is a genuine fear caused by the perceived implications of succeeding.)

I'm not saying that her priorities were wrong. Her lack of commitment is not good or bad, right or wrong. It just means that she won't achieve her goal until she realigns her priorities.

So make a list of your goals and dreams that are not getting achieved and have a brutally honest conversation with yourself. What actions are required to achieve these goals? What are you making more important than achieving them? Are you willing to change your priorities in order to accomplish this goal? If not, do yourself a favor and reduce or let go of your goal.

Your Coach,

Andrew Barber-Starkey, Master Certified Coach
Founder and President, ProCoach Success System